Fate doesn't Feel
by Arizosa
Summary: Harry PotterA songfic the lyrics of R.Williams that's been sitting on my harddrive since 2002. Although the poetry is my own.


**Disclaimer:** The privilege of ownership doesn't belong to me; it belongs to R Williams/G Chambers, published by BMG Music Publishing/ EMI Music Publishing, the song titled "Feel".

**Beta:** Bliss

**Genre:** Angst

**Warning:** Contains wording and graphic images not suitable for children under 13.

**Summary:** Harry sits in class feeling moody and decides to tell the world how he feel in a nice, quiet way.

**Note:** _Italics_ – Robbie Williams

**Fate doesn't Feel**

Harry sits in Professor Binns's class and as he was now tired with being tired all the time on this utter boring lesson, he had bought himself a CD player, which he had asked Professor Dumbledore to alter so that it went on magic. Had to have some ups to be friends with the current Headmaster of Hogwarts. He got funny looks from all his magical classmates as he changed the disc.

He suddenly stopped rummaging through his bag, holding one of the discs gingerly, as he slowly pulled his fingers over the cover with a sad smile. The first tunes of Robbie Williams "Feel" sounded in his ears and as he listened he began to sing a different text to the one beginning in his ears on the highest volume possible, dripping out to the slumbering classmates around him.

_Come and hold my hand,_

_I wanna contact the living,_

Don't shut me out please. You're my only anchor mingling in the living.

_Not sure I understand,_

It was shucked on me, and I caught it.

_This role I've been given._

Who am I? What's under the plastic film?

_I_ _sit and talk to God, _

_And he just laughs at my plans._

Faith has chosen me to be her toy, never my own. I scream, tell her to Leave Me Alone!

_My head speaks a language,_

It tells me to quit, but I can't do it. I doubt myself, but face the mirror always lonely,

_I don't understand._

Who am I? What is my purpose but destroy?

_I just want to feel real love,_

But I know that'll never be it. Treachery lies, deceit, shit.

_Feel the home that I live in,_

Death. Blissful darkness. Content.

_'Cause I got too much life,_

I wanna go around minding my own business without being crowded,

_Running through my veins,_

But I can't tell it to go away, discard it,

_Going to waste._

Never to be normal, just a little zip, to never give a shit.

_I don't want to die,_

Kill or be killed, that's the name of the game,

_But I ain't keen on living either._

I'm going through this for you, And make the pain go away,

_Before I fall in love,_

Never have a girl, 'cuse he'll kill her where she lay, a pool of blood goes astray.

_I'm preparing to leave her._

_I scare myself to death,_

Everyone has given me the role and I gotta play it till the end,

_That's why I keep on running,_

I try but I can't follow this all-the-way trend,

_Before I've arrived,_

The Gryffindor to the core,

_I can see myself coming._

Never finished, never whole.

_I just want to **feel** real love,_

But I know that'll never be it.

Treachery lies, deceit, shit.

_Feel the home that I live in,_

Death. Blissful darkness. Content.

_'Cause I got too much life,_

I wanna go around minding my own business without being crowded,

_Running through my veins,_

But I can't go and tell it to go away, discard it,

_Going to waste._

Never to be normal, just a little zip, to never give a shit.

_And I need to feel real love,_

I see everyone else leading their own lives, and I envy them,

_And a life ever after,_

I will never have one and would trade in a minute,

_I cannot give it up._

But I will not disappoint you all. No not for him.

Everyone but a few was awake now, listening to the song. As the chorus came again he took a deep breath, his eyes closed through it all, and let it out with Professor Binns oblivious on the whole.

_I just want to feel real love, _

I've never had love. The love I had is dead,

_Feel the home that I live in, _

"Home"...Only knew it as it continued being red.

_I got too much love, _

I can't give it to one, only give it to you all,

_Running through my veins, _

You don't understand! Unite yourself or you will fall,

_To go to waste. _

But it's only me... Always me...

_I_ _just wanna feel real love,_

But I know that'll never be,

_In a life ever after,_

I'll never have one... That's true.

_There's a hole in my soul,_

My hate for him must be gone. Then I can begin to fill it,

_You can see it in my face,_

I have to stay for you... All for you,

_It's a real big place,_

Read my eyes and you have your answer in them.

_Come and hold my hand,_

No one will...

_I want to contact the living,_

Please help to see me still...

_Not sure I understand,_

It was shucked at me, and I caught it.

_This role I've been given,_

Who am I? What's under the plastic film?

_Not sure I understand._

Tell me...

_Not sure I understand._

Tell me...

_Not sure I understand._

Tell me...

_Not sure I understand._

Tell... me...

And with the final slow tunes the bell rang. Harry got up, packed his bag and left the room, still humming, leaving a heavy silence in his wake.

**The End**


End file.
